Hey 👋 I’m a developer who writes code, breaks it, and sometimes patches it at 3 AM. My hobbies include reinventing the wheel and forgetting semicolons.
# automates deployments and panic attacks
> deployinator --now --hope
Error: works on staging, not in prod# keeps the dev awake and the CI running
> caffeine pour --double
✔ Speed +42%, precision -17%# debugger with infinite patience
> rubberduck debug --talk
💡 Insight: missing comma again# mislabels bugs as "features" since 2015
> bugtracker create "critical issue"
✔ Marked as enhancement
✔ Assigned to intern# when 'git push --force' goes too far
> panic-handler rollback --prayer
🙏 Reverting to last known sanity# runs tomorrow (probably)
> procrastinator start
⏳ still initializing…